Gemini n Scorpio on 26.09.07

September 26th, 2007 by b3akins

The Bottom Line

In a conversation with a close friend today, talk about what you hope will happen.

In Detail

Have you been having difficulty communicating with a partner or close sibling? Sometimes, where you know each other so well, it makes it all the more difficult to understand each other. Old assumptions can get in the way. This confusion is going to be your biggest relationship issue for a while, and you need to keep working on being clear in what you want. Break it down into what you need, and what you hope for. It’s important to let people know that you love them for who they are.

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The Bottom Line

Today is all about figuring out how you can help someone else feel more comfortable.

In Detail

Today it’s not about figuring out what other people can do to make you happy. It’s not even about figuring out what you can do to make yourself happy. It’s all about figuring out what you can do to help someone else! Be of service to someone who needs a hand. Send a sad friend into giggle fits, loan a strapped coworker some cash, or just surrender a rock star parking space to a haggard looking mom. Doing something nice for someone else will help you feel good about yourself in a whole new way.

tempat bermain yg baru

May 11th, 2007 by b3akins

http://b3akins.multiply.com

makes me w0nder O_o”

April 26th, 2007 by b3akins

I still don’t have the reason
And you don’t have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a f**k about you

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don’t believe in you
Anymore, Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try

So this is …?

Maroon 5 - Makes Me Wonder

1

April 20th, 2007 by b3akins

i tried not to cry last night, just like the other days. i forced my brain to think a lot of things that happened these days…to me n to the world surrounds me. the last time i cried on that pillow, i remember i had to reversed n used the other side of it. i felt my heart n brain were burnt. tears flowed down too much n as i tried to stop…it was really painful.

so last night, i wiped my tears off n contemplated…

i realized that i’ve been doing the same tiring things everyday. too many works, too many walks, too many whines…i’m over exhausted. everyday back home my watch tipped half past nine n most of the time can only sleep after midnight. things were repeating n i had to follow. monotonous killed me n u were supposed to support…

…so did this song, humming on my ears repeatedly. it was Band of Horses - The End’s Not Near. i remember i played this song on my laptop at ur house bcoz u asked me to bring new songs that i liked. so i did. but we were eating n i was hoping u can say smth about it…so u said u liked it. none more………just so u know, this song accompanied me everynight as i walked down the long cold-windy road of Dazhi after Shida. n i know u knew.

n there were many i wanted u to listen…but…i don’t know…

n today…things suddenly desolated. i did what i had to do. i could set aside the thoughts of u as this craze took off. the rest of it? i felt like i couldn’t breathe. i tried to participate in discussions as much as possible, ask many things as much as possible…just to avoid my mind to shut down itself n think about u. i tried to smile n laugh, stood n jump. i tried not to…breakdown n cry.

…n really, it’s true…u are the air that i breathe n i missed u from the bottom of my heart. i need u from the very morning till the very night. i want u more than anything…

=((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

LDR sungguh merepotkan…

April 15th, 2007 by b3akins

Loveespecially when u have a possesive boyfriend. especially when u love the man soooo much. especially when u xpect this huge plan between u n him can be realized ASAP.

Well, you are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whisper’s "Hello, I miss you quite terribly"
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there’s no place else I could be but here in your arms

Hellogoodbye - Here in Ur Arms

wo de guojia you henduo wenti. hahah…

April 12th, 2007 by b3akins

ytoday, i did a presentation about Indonesia in my Mandarin class. really…to learn zhongwen is very very  interesting. but i hate the fact that xie zhongwen zi (to write Mandarin’s char) is such a pain in the ass…n also the tones, maaan…ajegileee…

tp yah…presentasi bginian, dgn suku kata yg amat sangat terbatas…bikin gw ngerasa kaya anak TK. syintyingnya, smtm i speak in 3 languages in 1 sentence hahah n everytime i do that i have to pay NT$10 to the laoshi. zhen qiguai, keshi…zhen youyisi!!

1_2

2_1

3_2

4

5 6_1

7

8

Islam identik dgn kekerasan?

April 8th, 2007 by b3akins

beberapa hr yg lalu, out of the blue, during my presentation preparation -yg dmn pd saat itu gw lg brusaha konsentrasi penuh utk mendalami bahan-, si Paco, temen sekelas gw dr Argentina tiba2 dateng utk menghapus impian gw utk mendapat nilai A n ngajak gw ngebahas ttg masalah Islam. i repeat : MASALAH Islam.

well, first thing on my mind : HEH PALE GUNDUL LOE KAGAK LIAT NEH GW LAGE APA HAH??? lalu, second thing : here we go again…talking about religion always been smth interesting for me. sesuatu yg membedakan mana yg benar dan mana yg salah tanpa melihat mana yg benar dan mana yg salah (get it?)…n another thing is i might have answers for all of his q’s about Islam, tp kenyataannya gw bukan Moslem yg sempurna jg gt…^_^"

jadi, kira2 dia blg gini, "u know b3a, it’s good to know that (you) as a Moslem, u have ur own perspective towards ur faith". awalnya gw bingung where this is going, tp trs dia cerita d negaranya ada seorang Bapak yg membunuh anak cwnya karena doi ga mo dinikahin sm co pilihan Bpk tersebut. "i mean, u know…she’s a human being, too, she has the right to choose." and then he started asking whether all Moslems are like this? tentu saja gw jawab tidak. bagi gw, hidup dnegara dengan angka populasi Moslem terbanyak di dunia, gw taw sebagian besar Moslem (paling tidak org2 yg gw taw) berpikiran sama dengan gw: bahwa Laillahaillallah Muhammadarrasullah, must do 5 important pillars in Islam, dan Qur’an sebagai pedoman hidup…lalu tidak kalah penting di antara itu semua adalah kepercayaan bahwa Islam adalah agama yg menjunjung tinggi justice (keadilan) dan peace (perdamaian…perdamaian…). ingat, nama Islam sendiripun artinya damai, bukan?

dia jg bilang, dia bingung kenapa -khususnya d Islam- perempuan selalu menjadi gender yg dnomor duakan. para istri harus nurut sama suami sementara sang suami melanglang buana. anak cowo lebih diutamakan dr perempuan. ini itu yg menurut dia injustice dan meremehkan perempuan. haah wahai temanku, utk satu ini dirimu harus taw : banyak negara di dunia ini dimana majoritas org2nya beragama non-Moslem tp pemikiran ttg ajaran Qur’an-nya jauh lebih peka n lebih masuk dr orang2 Moslem itu sendiri, yaitu org2 Moslem yg conservative, radical dan orthodox. g mo banyak ngomongin ttg ini ah, ntar rumah gw dbom sm teroris =D ampunnn…

sumpah d…gw mungkin emang feminist, tp klo dtanya : klo emang banyak perempuan menuntut equality, knp perempuan ga bs menjadi Imam?? ya karena we’r just not meant to be. sama aja kaya halnya knapa cowo ga bisa netein bayi (ga nyambug ya? ya maap gw lg g bs mikir boo hahahahahaha). tp gw percaya both gender have the rights to receive education (seperti yg Paco blg ttg gw dmn pd saat itu membuat gw kembang kempis), they have the right to choose their own future husband (seperti halnya gw yg ga sabaran mo nikah sama Tom Cruise tp Tom Cruisenya kena sihir sm si Homeless), dan gw percaya…banyaaaaakkkkkk hal dan fakta yg harus org2 conservative itu tau dan sadari : kami perempuan HEBAT. n they should (must actually) respect us, as we give birth to real men. 300 banget ahahahahaakks banci quotation…

lalu lalu…

several days after i had this conversation that ofcourse, altho was distracting my practice time, i still earned As =)))), i read an article in Wall Street Journal, April 4th edition (u can read here : http://www.opinionjournal.com/editorial/feature.html?id=110009890 as it’s not available in WSJ online if u don’t subsribe) which titled quite mengundang utk gw : The Trouble With Islam. it’s just sickening that it says "The inhumane teaching in Islamist ideology can transform a young, benevolent mind into that of a terrorist". padahal yg namanya teroris…secara practical dan theoritical…sama sekali ga nyambung sm ajaran Islam. nah skrg, salah org2 yg ga bener menginterpretasikan ajaran Qur’an dan Sunnah mengenai perang dan teroris, kan?? dan mereka itu ga lebih dr org2 yg hanya akan mencemarkan nama baik dan dasar ajaran agama Islam itu sendiri…

hummph…cape ah ngomongin agamaku satu ini =(( seperti yg gw bilang d atas : sesuatu yg membedakan mana yg benar dan mana yg salah tanpa melihat mana yg benar dan mana yg salah. org2nya, bukan agamanya. contohnya aja gw ini hihihi makanya jgn masukin di hati deh apa yg uda gw tulis dsn, jgn dengerin jg krn as i mentioned earlier, gw bukan Moslem yg sempurna (i always say i’m struggling to be one). makanya pas Paco muji2 ttg cara berpikir gw ttg agama, dalam hati rasanya miris n pgn berbisik k dia : eh gundul, jgn buat gw ga enak ati gt donk, gw sholat aja jarang… (maaf ya Allah…)

klo uda ngomongin gini gw pengen nangis, knp gw ga bisa sempurna dimata Allah?? gmn caranya berbuat justice, mencintai perdamaian dan menjunjung tinggi human rights tanpa melupakan beribadah kepadaMu??

well anyway…golongan gw ini termasuk apa yah? orang2 yg tersesat…bukan……atau bisa jadi orang2 yg bingung karena memilih menjadi Moslem liberal yg progressive pun gw mikir krn as i was saying : I’M STRUGGLING TO BE ONE PERFECT MOSLEM…atau…mungkin Moslem Refusenik?? atau…i should start my own religion…ahahahakss…sekali lagi maaf ya Allah =(( mau dikemanakan nasibku…

flat _

April 2nd, 2007 by b3akins

di bukunya yg berjudul "The World is Flat", Om Friedman menceritakan bagaimana dunia ini has become flat karena efek globalisasi. disitu dia menyebut outsourcing sebagai contoh: di saat OmOm brambut pirang  sedang tidur dengan lelapnya, di belahan bumi yg berbeda, negara dan waktu yg berbeda, OmOm berkulit hitam bersuara nehi2 bs jd mengerjakan bahan presentasi OmOm brambut pirang td sehingga dsaat OmOm brambut pirang bangun dan mengecek emailnya, voilaa presentasi sudah dtangan, tinggal dprint dan dpresentasikan. tidak capek, letih maupun lesu.

nah…yg mo gw ceritain adalah ttg gw y boo. i would rather title myself as "The Womb is Fat" berhubung dlm mengerjakan presentasi gw ga bisa outsource ke negara OmOm berkulit hitam ato putih bahkan ijo…alhasil di siang maupun malam hari gw harus memperkerjakan diri gw sendiri demi hasil yg maksimal saat presentasi ntar. tp masalahnya, just what the title says…gara2 melek trs ni mata, ngemil d malam hr jd kebiasaan yg aujubileee enaknya tp keesokan paginya peyut jd sdkt abstrak…ttp indah, tp abstrak. hanya mata yg mengerti seni yg akhirnya bs mengapresiasikan betapa indahnya bentuk abstrak ituhh…aaahh ngomce opo seh gw ya boo…

udah ah…CAHHYOOO CAHHHYOOOOO* KUSUMO DEWOOOO**…

* cahyo baca: jiayou yg artinya semangat yg artinya ganbate yg artinya HEH BANGUN LOE TIDUR TRS DASAR KEBO!!

** kusumo dewo baca: ntah syapa dirimu maaf tlah kusebut2…

PERGI MATI LOE!

March 29th, 2007 by b3akins

asli gw marah banget sm tu orang. setiap kali co gw ngelarang temenan sm dia, i always stood up for him demi yg namanya pertemanan. pdhl dr pertama dia uda ngejelekin co gw, ngomongin co gw suka nelponin trs, fsnya cm ada photo gw n dia (trs dipikir2 emg knp??). tp kali ini he’s just to much of saying, i fed up of him already, bukan cm ngebawa2 co gw aja tp jg ngebawa2 Indonesia. dibilang ngikutin India lha, ini lha itu lha…tdnya gw uda coba utk sabar aja dengan diem…tp mulutnya bacot banget, ngomong trs ga berenti, sampe dia ngomong, "loe sendiri, kenapa co loe dr India (bkn dr Indonesia) ?"…akhirnya gw panas donk?? gw bilang aja "iya, makanya dia k Indonesia krn d India g ada cw cantik!". trs dia ngelak dgn ngomong "loe liat sendiri d film2 India cw2nya cantik semua!", gw bales, "iya d film2 aja pd cantik, aslinya ga ada yg cantik!".

asli gw panas banget pas itu, rasanya uda sakit ati bgt sm dia, seharusnya selama ini gw dengerin kt2 Nez untuk ga peduliin dia. seharusnya gw lebih dengerin co gw drpd makhluk ga taw diri itu. gw ga taw kenapa dia harus ngomongin ini itu ttg co gw sementara walaupun CWNYA SELINGKUH gw ga pernah ngejelek2in cwnya di depan dia!!

n i’ve done it! gw muak sama dia, gw apus MSN, YM, FS dllnya, gw ogah ngom bahkan ngeliat muka dia! PERGI MATI LOE!!

selama adu mulut td si Madina sm Danli cuman diem aja. what’s so funny is : we were arguing in Mandarin, which is amazing hahahah…

dan yaa’ tentu saja Nez akan bahagia sekali malam ini krn pada akhirnya i follow his demand!

Grey’s Anatomy 3-17

March 23rd, 2007 by b3akins

Grey’s really got me this time. i cried like hell when the scene where Izzie n Danny sensed each other in the hallway appeared. n slowly the bgsound plays: Unkle Bob - Swan. that f song really hit me hard. see, great music compliment great scene. as far as i could recall, i think it’s just the best moment in Grey’s Anatomy. love ‘em!

hihi…

jd begini yah…Izzie happened to be Danny’s doctor who happened to be charming, loveable, heavenly soft, pureefect but had a heart failure =(( so along the way they just fell in love to each other n this guy after he had a brand new heart, he proposed her. what’s bad is that…an hour later Danny’s dead. bayangin deh…lg seneng2nya mikirin bakal seidup semati sm orang yg loe sayang, tp tiba2 loe harus menghadapi kenyataan bahwa God just took his breathe away?

trs this scene that i mentioned, Izzie n Danny sensed each other in the hallway was just hurting in away since they both live in different life: Izzie d alam nyata sementara Danny di alam laen bersama hantu2 beserta dedemit. bayangin u can sensed ur loved one stood next to u, but u couldn’t touch, hear his/her voice, n u barely see him/her??

yg paling ga bisa gw terima dan mengerti adalah: why love like them?? why, perfect how it seems but it just never happens, never meant to be? knp? sementara Meredith n McDreamy n Addison n McSteamy n Burke n Yang…got their way but as hell!

huhu…mungkin yah looking at the bright side, belum tentu jg klo Danny still alive they’ll live happily ever after. contohnya aja film Cinderella dan fairy tales lainnya…film habis disaat sang pangeran bertemu sang putri…lalu sang pencerita melanjutkan: "they got married n live happily ever after"…sementara buktinya ga ada?

however…sungguh, for what it’s worth…they don’t have to compromise and argue about bad breathe and snore. true?

well anyway, cara cerita gw ga menyentuh sm sekali yah? well u should probably see it then ;)